Steroids Scandal Hits Major League Superheroes

Some Humpday Humor for ya, nerd-style...


From Wired.com

May 8, 2007, Metropolis

The Justice League of America responded today to the accusations of doping leveled by former member The Atom's new tell-all book, Small-Time Justice. In it, the diminutive crime fighter accuses his fellow superheroes of various indiscretions and infidelities, but the most controversial chapter in the book deals with steroid abuse. While he stops short of naming names, the context makes it clear to which leaguer he's referring.

"Now ask yourself," he writes. "How does a guy with absolutely no superhuman abilities get to hang out with the most powerful beings in the solar system? When you're busy learning science and picking up detective skills and custom-building cars and special devices, how are you going to find the time to hit the gym as hard as you need to even sit at the same table with Superman and Wonder Woman? Isn't it possible that maybe you're going to look for a little outside help, maybe of a chemical nature?"

I'm surprised Batman didn't have anything to say about this obvious swipe at the Dark Knight. As far as the Green Lantern being fingered as the 'Juicer', I don't buy it. The guy's a genius; an interdimensional genius, at that. I don't think he'd resort to something as crude as steroids.

Why's the Atom being such a little prick? Why doesn't he just go join the Legion of Doom already?