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Saturday, December 31, 2005


Operation Save Farris

A friend of mine posted the AP story of this Farris 'Beuller' Hassan on her blog, and commented on how cool it was for this well-meaning teenager to try such a stunt. Though I agree that it was pretty ballsy--and I must admit to a bit of envy for his freedom and means to do it--he stood to lose more than his balls. But I guess when you play big, you win big. I wonder when Barbara Walters is going to interview him.

What follows is my response to my friend, Charlotte's posting.

While I agree that this kid rocks, I still say he’s a dumbass. I mean, he wouldn’t have had to open his mouth to betray his un-Iraqiosity—just the sight of this well-fed, well-nourished teenager sportin’ some sweet threads and some fresh kicks would have announced his dumbassedness well before he could whip out the Franklin English-Arabic Electronic Tri-corder and retch up a mangled, “Could to please you see me a menus?” And one look at his soft, full face and doe-like eyes—the eyes of someone who has not been showered by the blood of market-goers caught unawares by a suicide bomber, the eyes of a boy who knows not the dread of a missing father, not knowing if he's dead, or worse, being “detained”. His optimistic countenance, though certainly a beacon of hope for humanity, would have shown like a candle in a darkened room—brilliant, vulnerable, and surrounded by darkness.

Be that as it may, I must admire the boy’s (where is that English-Arabic translator?) balls. If I were to fashion a modern-day Tarot deck, young Master Farris would adorn the first card, the Zero (the mathematical concept of which was brought West by Arab mathematicians), the Cipher, the Fool—only instead of a carefree youth traipsing carelessly along the edge of a cliff, there would be Mr. Hassan, English-Arabic dictionary in one hand, iPod in the other, standing at a shawarma counter, oblivious to the dangers around him. Guided by the Trickster’s voice, he was led away from his life of leisure to experience life for real; he journeyed into the Underworld, and by the grace of Hermes (the Trickster), was able to return home.

I hope he grows up to do great things.