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Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Looking back...(or Watch Me Post Like a Lazy Dog)

I was looking over my old WordPress blog (what I'd switched to after trying a very early version of Blogger), and came across a fun little post that I'd enjoyed posting--though my readership at the time was probably Population: Me. Now that I can count my readers on almost all the fingers of one hand, I thought I'd port it over here and shake the dust off of it.

And now I bring you, Mixed Couple...

Mixed couple, originally uploaded by ebilflindas.


You might not know this, but I'm an ordained minister. Sure, it was a mail-order kind of deal. Well, actually, I don't know if the word "order" is appropriate. I simply sent a postcard to the Univeral Life Church stating that I would like to be ordained, and they made it so.

Although I did it on a lark, my intent wasn't to demean the honor and prestige of the position. In fact, I've had the honor of officiating wedding ceremonies for two good friends. And they were beautiful ceremonies, if I may say so. I did my best to arrange each one to be uniquely suited to each couple.

And while I know that the marriages themselves are no reflection of my service as the matrimonial officiant, there is a part of me that is disappointed that only one of those unions is still intact. Questionable, yes, but intact nevertheless.

So I decided that I would no longer offer my services as an officer of matrimony. I did not want anymore to put two people together who would only either split up or live unhappily ever after. I once even stood by this decision when another friend asked this service of me. While I did not enjoy telling him no--that since I had only met his fiancee once and otherwise didn't know a thing about her, I did not feel comfortable doing that for them--I was proud of myself for holding to my principles on the matter. (BTW, had their arrangements been for some time in the future, I wouldn't have been so staunch in my conviction. As it was, they were looking for someone to marry them within the week or so.)

He said he understood, but I haven't heard from him since. I wonder how they're doing...

Anyway, so when I happened upon this seemingly mismatched couple, you would think that I wouldn't have even had to think about not putting them together. And you'd be right. The thought of not joining these two never crossed my mind.

In my silly, mildly-twisted mind (mildly? HA!), I thought, how better to enjoy an ice-cold Pepsi than in a sensuously curvaceous Coca-Cola glass?

Of course the partnership didn't last very long. Shortly after they'd been made one, the Pepsi ran off--with me, in fact--leaving the poor glass empty, cold, and alone.

I must confess, though. I'd do all over again.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post! Love it! I do have some thoughts but all seem to reveal too much of my own screwed up psyche so I'll desist :)

9:26 PM  
Blogger E'l Roy said...

You're funny, LL!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow Emil, This is a great archived post !! I love the story..the irony.. You could submit this and have it published somewhere..

By the way.. you know 50% of marriages end in a split..so you were just involved in the odds... Of course we don't know how good the staying together of the other 50%...

Sometime I will tell you about the person who performed our marriage cermony...a good story..with a happy ending still...

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Yeah, great post!

6:13 AM  
Blogger Aaryn said...

great post!
funny and a little sad at the same time, huh?

7:24 AM  
Blogger ma and pa otter said...

you'd be a great minister...our minister who seemed so perfect at the time (10 yrs ago) went OFF in the middle of our ceremony about "caution" and talked about the Border Patrol and Matt and I just stared at each other, as we were facing eachother anyway, and we both knew we were only a few seconds from cracking up...luckily he stopped just in time to read one of the mushy poems we chose...that he read too fast and got all the timing off so it sounded cheesey instead of cool..oh well...if we had known you then, and had asked you to marry us I am sure you would have been all over that ceremony in a good way...and your stats would be better too...
great post...
I love it when people just write.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Stefanie said...

I can't believe you'd mix Pepsi and Coke in any sort of way...sodas should stick to their own kind...what's wrong with you?!

10:34 PM  

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